Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Gone Fishin' Writing Contest

Vacation!
Yes indeed it's time to hang up the Gone Fishin' sign and retire to reading books instead of manuscripts, turn off the phone, and put a padlock on the email inbox!

To celebrate the start of a week off, let's have a writing contest!

Usual rules:

1. Write a story using 100 or fewer words.

2. Use the following words in the story

beautiful
downtown
queens
rental
cat

You must use the exact letters of the word in order, but the word can be part of a larger one:

So I messed around for awhile and submitted the following:


french sojourn said...
NASA projected the point of impact to be downtown Cairns in Queensland, Australia. Unfortunately the asteroid flattened its trajectory and lit up the atmosphere like aurora borealis on crack… one last beautiful sunset for humanity.

When the asteroid broke into thousands of guided meteorites, the results were catastrophic…all the major cities were razed. Then… they attacked...hell bent from above.

Mortally wounded, Mother Nature capitulated… giving up her parental obligations to a godforsaken planet.

Eve and I escaped to Red Rock One and watched, on the lone satellite feed, as they harvested everyone, except us.

Then they left…so we’re starting over…again.
8/24/13, 11:18 AM



And here are the seven finalists:


(3) French sojourn 11:18am
NASA projected the point of impact to be downtown Cairns in Queensland, Australia. Unfortunately the asteroid flattened its trajectory and lit up the atmosphere like aurora borealis on crack… one last beautiful sunset for humanity.

When the asteroid broke into thousands of guided meteorites, the results were catastrophic…all the major cities were razed. Then… they attacked...hell bent from above.

Mortally wounded, Mother Nature capitulated… giving up her parental obligations to a godforsaken planet.

Eve and I escaped to Red Rock One and watched, on the lone satellite feed, as they harvested everyone, except us.

Then they left…so we’re starting over…again.

And a writer I recently have been communicating with submitted the following:

(7) Myra King 6:06pm
I live downtown next door to an extreme cleaner. OCD, not commercial. Sadie Badenoch. Sadbad we called her at school but she wasn't bad. And before the gunman came she was cat sleek beautiful.

My rental-room looks into her kitchen. Six a.m. I see her cleaning to Queen's music. Mercury rising. Her house gleams like the stars.

Ten a.m., safe behind my impenetrable screen, I watch her prepare for outside. Living in the real world.

Keys jangle. Her hands dart round, up and down her front door's frame. Her ritual protection. Takes two hours before she leaves.

Wish I could.


And the winner is Myra King 6:06pm. One of the things I love about this entry is that it works on several levels.  I read it at least five times and each time found something new to admire.


Myra, drop me an email (janet @ fineprintlit dot com) and we'll figure out what kind of prize to send you.

Thanks to all the writers who took time and creative energy to enter the contest.  I loved reading what you wrote (even you Lenny!)

Congrats to all the winners.


This is the last contest of the summer.  I've got a week's vacation coming up, and then it's back to work for the fall season.   


My first time as a finalist, real happy. There were 72 entries and they were all incredible, happy to get a shout out.  

Cheers Hank

Monday, August 19, 2013


Another fun Janet Reid Flash Fiction Contest
8-16-2013

Usual rules:

1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer.

2. Include the following words in the story


Degrees
Chum
3
Bucket
Pants 

Blogger french sojourn said...
Old Chum:

I got your re-writes, great dialogue… really sings. Speaking of which, I noticed on your notes you wanted to use Doris Troy’s 1963 hit “Just one look” as background music, in bar scene: 3.

Background!

You want her… fine...but the scene better be two mimes. No one’s gonna listen to dialogue, while she sings. I don’t have any music degrees, but she hits every high and low note in the bucket. Christ… I even hear her smiling as she sings.

Are your pants around your ankles… are you balancing cashews on your dick?

Because you’re fucking… nuts!

Background?
8/17/13, 10:39 AM

My wife Cindy was shown this after I had entered and said. "You sound F&@#-ing nuts for sending in an entry that could be offensive........

Special recognition for entries with lines that really stand out:
French sojourn 10:39am
Are your pants around your ankles… are you balancing cashews on your dick?
Because you’re fucking… nuts!

Cheers Hank.


Monday, August 12, 2013


     So Janet Reid held another Flash fiction contest, see below;

The Dangerous Fiction Writing contest

I couldn't resist  a book with a literary agent protagonist.  Barbara Rogan's A DANGEROUS FICTION started as lunch reading.  Got home and could NOT stop (except for brief moments to catch my breath!) until I finished reading at midnight.

When I tell you one of the plot points is my worst fear, you'll know that the only thing to do now is have a writing contest with the book as a prize.

The usual rules:

1. Write a story using 100 words or fewer

2. Use these words in the story:


fiction
slush
spade
hear
262 


So after monkey-ing around: My entry.....


California: 1928

     The Desk Sargent wanted nothing to do with this Nob Hill jezebel. He knew, as soon as she spilled her dirty laundry, she was trouble.
    
     “So you’re tellin’ me, your boyfriend took off… after transferring some of your slush funds into a fictional account in Boston?”
    
     “If my husband finds out… I’ll have nothing… he can never know.”
    
     “Lady, that leaves us out … you need a private eye.”
    
     “A gumshoe?”
    
     “Heard of Sam Spade, his office is at 262 Sutter Street.”
    
     “Is he good?”
    

     “If he can find a bird… it’ll be a piece-of-cake finding a rat.”



Not bad,


Special recognition for entries that were not quite a story but still enticing:
French sojourn 10:11am


But I wonder if I should have said.

"If he can find a falcon....it'll be a piece-of-cake."   
Reference to the "Maltese Falcon"

I was hoping I wasn't being to obtuse. 

Wednesday, August 7, 2013



A new flash fiction writing contest I was turned on to by Janet Reid.

Fun concept;

So this is where the contest comes in.

Want to win an ARC of REALITY BOY? All you have to do is follow 3 little rules, and you're in. Go crazy. You have two whole weeks. 

CHALLENGE:

  1. Your story MUST start with this sentence: Janet was early. **
  2. Your story MUST end with this sentence: Of course, she didn't.
  3. Your story must be 100 words or less.
DEADLINE: Sunday August 18th at 11:59PM EST
PRIZE: A signed Advance Reader Copy (ARC) of REALITY BOY.
Please leave your entry in the comment area of this blog and don't forget your email address! 




So I entered this after an hour of writing; upon reflection I would call it

Romeo and Juliet - Harpswell, Maine 1977.  (but then again who would name a 100 word f.f. entry?




     Janet was early. The tide….well the tide was running late.

     She fired up the old diesel, un-cleated the Mary Lou, and took off after her husband. Jack was old school; he had placed a dozen palm sized rocks down his hip waders.

     We learned our lesson from Lonzo Gilbert. Why, it must have been twenty odd years ago he was swept over the side of his lobster boat. They fished him out a half an hour later, after the seagulls had at him.

     Jack’s boat went down this mornin’,

     I wonder if she forgot the rocks.

     Of course, she didn’t. 


Nice fun story. Cheers Hank.






Monday, August 5, 2013


The last Flash fiction contest was a tough one. All of the entries were incredible, the winning one below was wonderful.

The five words were based on a novel of the battle for Britain. The air war specifically.

blitz
tube
blackout
finest
hour



(5) Amy Schaefer 3:37pm
I stumbled along the frozen path. Mother nudged me onwards, hours becoming days as we fled the cacophony of bloody death. Exhausted, sick on rotten tubers – still everyone limped on. The news blackout was meaningless; the war filled our world.

“Halt!”

The nightmare shapes of the Easter 101st Rutting Finest leapt from the shadows. I shrank back from their infamous pink-and-purple Egg eyepatches. Had they really each sacrificed an eye to the Bunny?

Blitzen stepped forward. “There’s no ransom here. Santa won’t bargain.”

“The Pole fell two days ago.” The three-stripe bunny flashed sharpened teeth. “And we’re having venison tonight.”


I loved the duality of dichotomies in her lines. "There's no ransom here. Santa won't bargain."

I submitted on that was based on the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, to a degree.


     “Finest gal” sailed towards the dance, wearing nothing save her threadbare jib. Duluth had broadcast a report of rogue waves running westerly, before an untimely radio blackout.
    
     Taking the worn canvas sea anchor from its tube, he rigged it to the bow. The old ketch hove to, as he anticipated the blitzkrieg of three- thirty-five foot waves.
     He thought of the Edmund Fitzgerald’s crew in the murky graveyard below.  “Finest gal’s” bow knifed through the first of the three sisters*.

          “Does anyone know where the love of God goes, when the waves turn the minutes to hours?”* He thought, smiling.



* Lyrics by Gordon Lightfoot.

*”Three sisters” Nautical term re: Lake Superior


I am happy with her acknowledgement, once again. I will improve my writing one line at a time.  

Special recognition for entries with a great line or lines:
"Finest Gal sailed towards the dance, wearing nothing save her threadbare jib"
french sojourn 9:31am


Cheers Hank

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Latest results for Janet Reid Flash fiction contest.

I exchanged my entry and went a little odd with a art critics entry. A rather festive entry, but what the hay? A little crass, O.K. a lot of crass, but fun.

Dear Pete Kotz;
Interim Editor @ Village Voice;

        I attended Hans Schuler’s premier art exhibit "SELF- a portrait in radical introspective" last night…. believe me; it will be his…. "last night".

       Someone compared him to some lily livered icon….and I answered;
"Darling he's more like HandyWhorehole…..Heavens!"
   
     Appropriately held at the new “Highline” Gallery.
  
      I chatted briefly with the creature running the exhibit, Alice Humphrey. You can double kiss her career goodbye.

    Sandra Pak over at Ch.7said; and I quote “"Blood, Saliva, and nudity,"

    Reminds me, make plans for tonight.

    Miss this one kiddies;

   Hated it!.....

   Your favorite art critic;

   Jersey


A little recognition, but beggars can't be choosers. Really enjoy the exercises in creativity. She has warned us of another in a couple days.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Twice is nice Alafair Burke writing contest results!

Some terrific entries on this contest!


Special recognition for entries that were about LONG GONE!
Curt David 11:55am

french sojourn 4:32pm


Cheers Hank.